I’m not that bad, am I?

some of my fellas are so damn good in coding or configuring the network.

some of them are excellent in writing and creating phrase id never thought before.

some of the prettiest are so beautiful i couldn’t describe.

some makes a lot amount of money!!

some of them are so patient i tempted to make them angry (that’s my husband)

by all means

i dont know why im not excellent in everything i do. just an average woman.

not that beautiful, but enough to tempt over-35-years-old men in my office. and wait, i’m honored to be the second most beautiful woman when i was in college, and also the sexiest, the kindest, the most chatty woman

not that smart, but still get to itb or just the second winner of english speech in my office. hmmf, this is the second second i mention in this posting. to be the first is quite hard, isnt it?

not that smart, but still configure the network, googly search the command, making the management of bandwidth by my own.

not that patient, but… well, i dont have excuse for this statement. Haha. this’ your part huney.

i’m not that bad, am I?

I just… often forget im not as bad as I think I am

change the tagline

there are much of ironic happen in our life.

contoh nih contohnya,, daku pengen sekali ke bali. waktu kuliah ampe nangis merengek2 ingin ke bali. then, when i have enough-but-not-much money, i urge to go there with my own money. i had one of the best moment in life there, met my closests friend, together with my boyfriend. what a momentual.

one month later, i’m surprised when my boss commands me to go there together with my co-worker. it is for free. I actually see it as a rare and -wow its rock- opportunity. but apparently i m not feeling as happy as the first time. all the enthusiasm,the passion, the longing has disappeared.moreover, i might not see erifle there.and no boyfriend too.huh.

hmmmff, im kind of melancholic yay.. but i get it. now, that i must change the tagline, “from bali is the most beautiful place” be the “with u is the most precious and beautiful moment”.

indeed. i miss my old time with my friends. always do

tired

i am tired

i can not even think another words precious writen here

cause i am tired and i am crying,

i am moron, pathetic and dumb

and somehow,,, somehow i dont need to hear any words like ‘be patient, be thankful or be calm’.

i just need your hands, your words, your steady, your understanding.

i am egoist then,

but give me hours to burst out my feeling,

just like when i was a child. i didn’t need to be strong and dependable.

cause i am not.

i know all the cries wont lease any problems, i know it makes me dumber and more useless.

but let me be the stupid then, so i can be my self.

[in my messy office]

i’ll be

I’ll be your crying shoulder,
I’ll be love’s suicide
I’ll be better when I’m older,
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.

 [i’ll be, Edwin Mc Cain] 

hadirmu

hadirmu,

seperti setitik warna,

yang lalu mengubah segala

menjadi penuh,

merapuh bersama

meretas bersama

mungkin kita bisa tertawa

namun kini ternyata kita terluka

dan harus kuakui

aku menyerah

[agustus, 2008]

pulang

hari ini anna akan pulang.

P-U-L-A-N-G

…..

pulang!!

…..

ya ampyuuunn, gue pulang doung..

..

terima kasih..

masih ada orang-orang terkasih disana